As we
approach Valentine’s Day this year, our team at Family Services wants to make
sure that you and your loved one have the best V-Day possible.
One of
the most detrimental stressors for couples has to deal with money. A recent January poll conducted by the
National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) revealed that nearly half
(47%) of respondents claimed disagreements about money are most likely to cause
the greatest stress in their relationships.
Family
Services has a few suggestions to make sure finances don’t get in the middle of
you and your other half this Valentine’s Day. First of all, if you have
disputes over money with your loved one, do not let them go unaddressed!
Instead, hit the ‘pause’ button, and have a sit down with your partner.
“Most
people have a different approach to money management than their spouse or
partner. Left unaddressed, those differences can lead to the end of the line
for many couples. Understanding those differences means having honest
discussions early in a relationship so the rules are mutually accepted and the
financial goals are clear. No matter the differences or challenges, the best
approach is to start communicating early” said Bruce McClary, spokesperson for
the NFCC.
The
NFCC recommends the following guidelines for couples:
- Be honest with yourself and each other when it comes to financial matters. As financial challenges appear, work together to address them directly instead of ignoring problems and wishing they will resolve themselves.
- Establish money rules for
the relationship and hold each other accountable. Discuss what will be
jointly managed and set rules for making independent spending decisions.
- Don’t conceal debt or
sources of income from each other. Financial infidelity should be taken as
seriously as any other form of cheating. Adhere to a policy of financial
transparency to strengthen trust in the relationship.
- Set a time and place where
financial matters can be discussed on a regular basis, free of
distractions.
- Keep the tone of the
conversation casual, and remain open to what each other has to say.
- If a disagreement should
go unresolved during a conversation, take a moment to find acceptable ways
to compromise or consider revisiting the issue after a short time-out.
- If a financial mistake is
made, couples should work together to find solutions without assigning
blame. Be willing to accept a fair share of the responsibility for the
problem and the solution.
- When tracking joint
financial goals, understand that changing circumstances require a degree
of flexibility from both partners in a relationship.
- Understand that a single
financial setback impacting one person ultimately affects the entire
relationship, no matter how large or small the issue.
By Jeff Lewis
